Stuck Camping with the boring Mr Dickenson
by kontari
Summary: Well, the title speaks for itself really... It's pretty funny, in a lame, retarded kind of way, heh, just read it, who knows, you might actually like it... Oh yeah, sorry 'bout the formatting, I'll get around to fixing it later okay, for now, just enjoy!


Hmm... This story doesn't make much sense, and it starts out pretty odd, but keep reading, you'll probably like it, that is of course, unless you like Kenny, but this chapter doesn't have much Kenny torturing, but, if I do keep going, the next chapter will, so be prepared those very few amount of people who actually like Kenny... Oh yeah, and some people may consider this R, but I don't, and I'm 13, so yeah, okay, just so as you know.  
  
Chapter 1: The Arrival and the start of a story that makes no sense whatsoever... "Come on Tyson, we're gonna be late!" Max shouted from his place by the door. "Well excuse me but you're not the one who was dared to dress in heels, a tiara and frock in front of a million people, you try putting on stockings and see how long you take!" Tyson retaliated from the bathroom. "I have tried!" Max retorted, earning a surprised and blank look from Tyson, followed by a sincere snigger. Finally Tyson and Max left to meet Kai and Rei by the limo, and found Ray to be wearing a pink pompom in his long raven hair. "For god's sake Tyson, get out of that fucking frock and don't make it any fucking worse that it already is!" Kai snorted, indicating Ray's oh so lovely pompom. Suddenly Mr Dickenson appeared in his groovy little hat and began whistling the milkshake song as they began their long and supremely boring limo drive to the regional tournament. "I hope we meet a horny bear who bites Mr Dickensons dick off!" Ray whispered to Kai, becoming utterly outraged at Mr Dickenson. "What Dick?" Tyson taunted to Ray as the two burst out laughing once more and Kai merely grunted. "The one on his head of course!" Kenny laughed, unjoined by the others who merely glared at him. "That was so lame Kenny!" Tyson accused mockingly. "The one that he's got on his head!" Max said again as if Kenny had never said it, earning a chorus of laughs as Kenny snarled in anger. "Can I sit on your lap Kai? "Who the fuck are you?" Kai snarled. "Professor Lockhart of course, I escaped that gay hospital, would you like an autograph?" Lockhart smiled, holding out a piece of paper. "Aren't you that guy out of Harry Potter?" Tyson asked curiously. "Harry Potter my arse! I am from Professor Lockhart and the philosophers stone, as since I erased Potter's memory!" Lockhart laughed maniacally. "This is getting weird," "I know," "Kai, shove him under the car will you?" "Sure," Kai replied as he proceeded to do so, but Professor Lockhart was too retarded to die so he just sat there on the road as a billion cars ran over him until he started looking like that guy off Big Arvo, (Or Kenny) Suddenly the car started jerking savagely from left to right, and the boys went flying everywhere, except Kai who had the sense to know that you where a seat belt. "Kenny, get the fuck off Tyson, this is no time to practice your humping skills!" Rei hissed as his head was slammed into Kai's crotch, earning a pained gasp from Kai himself. "What the hell are you doing Dickenson?" Max groaned as Tyson's fist went slamming into his member. "Well, you see, I'm retarded and if I didn't drive the car into a tree in the middle of a deserted forest, then you guys couldn't camp out in the woods and there would be no story!" Mr Dickenson explained cheerfully as the car swerved violently and struck a tree, stranding them in the middle of a forest. "Fuck."  
  
Chapter 1 and a half because this really should be in a separate chapter but I'm too lazy to put it there: Pointless Conversation The car was mangled and Tyson was covered in blood, screeching in pain. "Man, are you gonna be okay!" Max fretted, running around as if he was sugar high, which he probably was considering they'd raided Kai's candy supply on the way. "Oh it's period pain, make it stop!" Tyson screamed. "Then what's all the blood!" Ray spat, scared for Tyson's welfare. "Period," Tyson explained, giving them a lecture on sexual reproduction. They all stared at him with blank faces. "I thought you were a guy, you have a dick!" Ray protested, unwilling to believe what Tyson had said. "Hey, this ain't real life, it's a story so alls you have to do is think happy thoughts and you're dick will go away," "Man, that's freaky!" "Talk about it!" "You know this is getting weird again," "Fuck you Tyson!" "How's that relevant to the conversation Kai?" "Does anyone know where we are?" "Uranus?" "Try Tyson's anus, maybe he'll wish us there with his dick repelling happy thoughts!" "Now try to be positive guys!" "Shut the fuck up blondie!" "That's not very nice Kai!" "Yeah, this thing has to be rated pg 13 at least so stop swearing okay?" "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, I don't care if it's rated 100+, just shut the fuck up!" "I'm a monkey." "What the hell!" "TYSON!" "I said shut the fuck up!" "Who's that?" "A monkey!" "Tyson be civilised will you?" "SHUT...THE...FUCK...UP!!!!!!!!!!!" "You know you've said that like, seven times in only one chapter?" "I lost my dick in the car crash." "That's nice." "Has anyone noticed Mr Dickenson is dead?" "Thank god!" "No I ain't sonnie jim, it'll take more than a million tree splinters through my head to kill me! "That's a huge bitch!" "Hey, that's off the animal, the hot chick and... "Shut the fuck up!" "Is that your only line in this chapter Kai?" "No, I got another one, Eat shit Tyson!" "I'm a monkey." "TYSON!" "Ok... Can we like, get on with the story?" "Fine." "We'll have to set up a camp site, we can't just stand here all night," Kenny mumbled, scanning the area with his laptop. K, I found somewhere, we can set up camp in this cave here" "But, won't there be horny bears there?" "Of course not, there's no such thing as horny bears!" "Then whats that? Tyson humping Kai. Oh, okay then. Get the fuck off me Tyson!  
  
So how'd you like it? Lame, I know, I was sugar high and bored, but anyway...Maybe it should be rated R18+, but no one ever reads it if it's rated R, and like, I'm 13 and I wrote it so I think the ratings fine. If I get at least 5 reviews I'll keep going, but hey, you know how it is, I'll probably end up keeping on going anyway, but who cares. 


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